who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Two words: nipple clamps
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