Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
