dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
