I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
