Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you would pick up someone in the library
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
