You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize