does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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