there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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