so that wasnt chicken after all
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
