If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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