She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's never too late to be topless.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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