So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Small penises have feelings too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
