Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
