You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This house was built for laser tag.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
did you just send me my own nude
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize