You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
