i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
