This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
