She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
