He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
