We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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