oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
