Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
