Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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