New low: just hacked my moms facebook
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
