Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
