You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
