Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
