Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
