What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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