i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
