when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
