operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
