make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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