I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
