I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
