We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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