I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
