He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
