That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize