.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
