AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize