Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
