if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
