yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
