dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
