Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
