just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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