Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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