put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
