Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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