I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
