Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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