My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize