So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
