To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
