I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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