You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
