whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
