I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
