Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
