Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just pee around me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
