If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
this hospital has no fireball
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